Menopause advice for men

We realise there are lots of very positive measures being taken within society to support women better during the menopause, but what about menopause advice for men? Men often contact us saying that they wished they knew more about menopause. They know that they can (and want to) help.

This article is therefore designed to provide men with a better understanding of what is going on and what they can do to support and help. Menopause symptoms can significantly affect some women having an impact upon them, their loved ones, their work life, their personal and family relationships.

Lets explain the differences between perimenopause and menopause

For those who reach the menopause naturally, menopause is usually defined as the time when periods stop. At this point her ovaries have stopped releasing eggs and oestrogen levels have fallen to a consistently low level. Menopause usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 with an average age in the UK of 51.

However, it is important to say that menopause can occur at any age, and can also occur after surgery to remove the ovaries, or after certain treatments, including treatment for cancer. These women need specialised advice to ensure they receive the care they need.

Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause, lasting 2-10 years. Hormone levels (mainly oestrogen and progesterone) start to fluctuate wildly and symptoms can start to happen. These hormonal changes commonly start in women in their late 30’s or early 40’s.

Perimenopause and menopause symptoms – what might you notice?

The changes that come with perimenopause and menopause can be subtle at first and easy to dismiss or misinterpret. They don’t always arrive with the obvious physical signs we tend to associate with the menopause. For many women, the earliest symptoms are psychological or emotional.

You might notice she seems more anxious, tearful, or irritable than usual. Maybe her patience has shortened, or she reacts differently to things that never used to bother her. Perhaps her confidence has dropped, she starts doubting herself at work, withdrawing from projects, or saying she can’t cope. These are often the early effects of fluctuating hormones on brain chemistry, sleep and mood regulation.

Sleep can be affected and 40-60% of women at this stage find it hard to get to sleep or find themselves waking in the night. A woman who’s always been clear-headed and steady may suddenly be struggling with exhaustion from waking multiple times a night, drenched in sweat or unable to switch off her thoughts.

At work, women can struggle with reduced concentration, brain fog, loss of verbal recall and loss of confidence. She might start avoiding meetings or volunteering for things she once thrived on.

Her joints and muscles may become painful, which may affect her ability to exercise and run around after the children.

At home, you might notice she’s more withdrawn or less affectionate or that she seems to have lost interest in socialising. For some, libido changes and body image worries deepen the sense of disconnection. For others the emotional intensity of this stage, combined with caring responsibilities, ageing parents, and demanding jobs leaves them feeling invisible and overwhelmed.

Physical symptoms

• Hot flushes and night sweats – sudden waves of heat, sweating or flushing that can interrupt sleep or confidence.
• Tiredness and poor sleep – difficulty falling asleep, waking often or feeling drained even after rest.
• Irregular or missing periods – cycles may become shorter, heavier, lighter or stop completely.
• Aches and pains – joints, muscles, or back can feel stiff or sore.
• Headaches or palpitations – feeling of the heart racing or noticing more frequent headaches or migraine attacks.
• Weight or body shape changes – especially more fat around the middle, even without eating more.
• Skin and hair changes – dryness, itching, or thinning hair.

Emotional symptoms

• Mood swings or anxiety – feeling tearful, irritable, or more easily upset.
• Low mood or loss of confidence – feeling flat, unmotivated, or ‘not herself.’
• Brain fog – forgetting words, losing focus, or struggling to concentrate.
• Sleep problems – poor quality sleep worsens memory and mood, creating a vicious cycle.
• Premenstrual symptoms – can worsen as hormones and menstrual cycles can be erratic

Bladder and vaginal/vulval symptoms (genitourinary syndrome of the menopause)

• Vaginal dryness or soreness – can cause discomfort, itching or pain during sex.
• Lower libido – less interest in sex
• Bladder changes – needing to pass urine more often, leakage or more frequent infections.

It is also worth reflecting that many women don’t really understand what is happening to them at this stage in their life and that the symptoms they are experiencing are in fact symptoms of the menopause.

What to say

Let’s be honest, when someone you care about is struggling, the instinct may be to fix it. You want to offer solutions, reassurance, or logic. But menopause isn’t something to be solved in a single conversation, and the wrong words, however well meant, can make things worse. What might help?

• Listen: you don’t need to fix anything straight away. Just hearing someone say, “I’m really struggling right now,” deserves space. A simple, “Tell me more, what’s been hardest for you?” opens the door to a more honest discussion.
• Validate: try: “That sounds really tough. I can see why you’d feel that way.” You don’t need to understand every symptom, empathy is helpful.
• Ask what support looks like for her. This isn’t about guessing. Ask directly: “What helps you most when you feel like this?” or “Is there something practical I can do to make this easier?” For some, it’s time alone. For others, it’s company, help with life admin, or encouragement to speak to a GP or menopause specialist.
• Be aware of the workplace impact. If she’s a colleague or member of your team, kindness goes a long way. Flexible working, quiet spaces, or simply not making assumptions about “performance” can make a huge difference. When women feel supported rather than judged, productivity and confidence often return quickly. Menopause at work: guide for people managers
• Learn about menopause yourself. If you’re in a relationship, leading a team, or raising daughters, this knowledge will serve you for life. Understanding what’s happening biologically changes the way you see it emotionally. It helps turn confusion or frustration into compassion and practical support.

At Rowena Health we offer bespoke packages to help you educate your team. Please contact us for more information.

Changing the Conversation Around Menopause

Menopause shouldn’t be whispered about, dismissed, or joked away. It’s a natural biological transition, one that half the population will go through, yet it still carries an outdated stigma that leaves too many women feeling isolated, confused, or ashamed for struggling.

The more we talk about menopause openly in homes, in workplaces, and in leadership spaces the less power it has to undermine women’s confidence, careers, and relationships.

Next steps

Some simple things to consider:

• Don’t shy away from the conversation, but be sensitive and pick the right time
• Look for the right support together; what is going to work and how quickly can you see them
• Understand the treatment plan and be part of that, where appropriate
• Reflect on whether that is working together (sensitively)
• Be supportive
• And, sometimes you may have to simply stop, take a breath and know that it will get better, if you get the support and follow the treatment plan you need

What can help?

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

• Replaces the oestrogen to relieve the symptoms of menopause
• Helps with hot flushes, sleep, mood, brain fog, joint pain, and vaginal symptoms.
• Available as patches, gels, sprays, tablets, or vaginal treatments.
• Safe and effective for most women, but is not right for everyone

Low dose localised vaginal/vulval oestrogen

• A really effective treatment for vaginal and vulval dryness, soreness or bladder symptoms.
• Available as a gel, cream, vaginal pessary or a silicone vaginal ring
• Can be used alongside or without HRT
• Can be prescribed by the GP or bought from the pharmacy
• Some women really struggle with dryness and soreness, meaning sex can be really sore, and this means they try and avoid intimate contact because it hurts so much
• Using a good quality lubricant like Yes organics oil and water based lubricants can make things much more comfortable and can be used alongside localised oestrogen, which can be used as a gel, cream or little vaginal pessary. It takes 2-4 months to work and is a really effective long term treatment which almost every woman can use.
• For some women, adding testosterone to their HRT can be helpful to improve low libido, once other causes for this have been ruled out.

Lifestyle Support

• Sleep: Help her keep a regular sleep routine, aiming for 7-9 hours in bed.
• Exercise: Help her to aim for regular movement. This should include 30 minutes 5 times a week aiming to get a bit hot and out of breath, and to add in strength exercise to help maintain her muscle mass. Practicing balance and stretching are also important. Read more here.
• Nutrition: Eat a balanced diet with plenty of protein, vegetables, calcium, and vitamin D. Read more here.
• Weight management: Maintaining a healthy weight supports hormone balance and reduces long-term risks. Women gain about 0.5kg a year in midlife, on average 10kg (for some women this is more) and they tend to start to store fat around the middle. This is completely normal, but can be very distressing for them as they may be eating and exercising in a way they have always done, yet their weight and body shape changes. This can affect their confidence and even desire to go out or to be intimate. Read more here.
• Limit toxins: Reduce alcohol, smoking which can worsen symptoms.

Read our lifestyle article

Mind and Mood

• Talk about how she is feeling with a partner, friend, or therapist.
• Mindfulness, CBT, or relaxation techniques can help manage anxiety or irritability.
• For some women, antidepressants are helpful and necessary to support their mood

Intimacy

• Early perimenopause is a time of change in sexual wellbeing for women. The reasons for this are complex and a discussion with a health professional who is experienced in this area can be helpful. For some women addition of testosterone to HRT can be helpful.
• Books to read: Mind the Gap by Karen Gurney; Come as you are by Emily Nagroski; Better Sex through Mindfulness by Lori Brotto

Sleep

• 40-60% of women find it difficult to sleep in perimenopause and menopause. Read more about understanding and managing sleep problems in menopause here.

Non-hormonal treatments

• Some women choose not to take HRT or have been advised that they should not take HRT (due to a medical condition such as after a diagnosis of breast cancer) and often feel there is no other option for them.
• This is not the case and there are other effective prescribable non hormonal treatments to help relieve hot flushes, anxiety and low mood.
• Read more about non-hormonal treatments to help symptoms of menopause here.

Alternative and Complementary Therapies

• Some women find benefit from hypnotherapy, herbal medicine, acupuncture or yoga but discuss these with a doctor first to check for safety and interactions. Read more about this here.

Medical Check-Ins

• Ask if she has check her blood pressure and cholesterol measured – menopause is a time of change in metabolic health. Blood cholesterol can rise, blood pressure can rise – all of which can increase her risk of cardiovascular disease. These can be checked with her GP.
• Is she supporting bone health with vitamin D, dietary calcium and daily weight bearing exercise? Menopause leads to bone loss because oestrogen levels decline, increasing the risk of osteoporosis and fractures. Read more about how to protect bone health here.
• Check is she attending breast, cervical, and bowel screening when she is invited.

Helpful resources

You may want to guide women in your life to my article about perimenopause and menopause, which will give some immediate insights into the symptoms, causes and treatment options.

If you are in the UK you can book a virtual appointment for menopause care with Dr Carys Sonnenberg at Rowena Health. As an experienced GP and British Menopause Society registered menopause specialist she founded Rowena Health to offer holistic care to women from all over the UK.

Other resources

• Perimenopause and menopause article Rowena Health
• Women’s health concern fact sheets

Last updated September 2026 Dr Carys Sonnenberg

© Rowena Health | rowenahealth.co.uk

The information in this article was correct at the time of publication. This is for general information only and is not intended to be, nor should it form, individual medical advice. Always seek advice from your health professional about you medical care. Throughout the Rowena Health website, we use the term women when describing people who experience hormonal symptoms. However, we acknowledge not only those who identify as women require access to menopause and hormone health information. For example, some trans men, non-binary people, intersex people or people with variations in sex characteristics may also experience menopausal symptoms and hormonal mood changes such as PMS and PMDD.