Menopause advice for men

At Rowena Health Menopause Specialist Clinic we realise there are lots of very positive measures being taken within society to support women better during the menopause, but what about menopause advice for men? You are important as a partner, friend, colleague, manager, brother, father or son. How can you support the women in your life? What support might you need? Men often contact us saying that they wished they knew more about menopause. They know that they can (and want to) help. This article is therefore designed to provide men with a better understanding of what is going on; what they can do to support and help. So if you’ve found yourself wondering how to help the woman in your life who’s struggling, start here: ask, listen, learn and stay present.

Lets explain the differences between perimenopause and menopause

For those who reach the menopause naturally, menopause is usually defined as the time when periods stop. At this point her ovaries have stopped releasing eggs and oestrogen levels have fallen to a consistently low level. Menopause usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55 with an average age in the UK of 51. However, menopause can occur at any age, and can also occur after surgery to remove the ovaries, or after certain treatments, including treatment for cancer.

Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause, lasting 2-10 years. Hormone levels (mainly oestrogen and progesterone) start to fluctuate wildly and symptoms can start.

Perimenopause and menopause symptoms – what might you notice?

The changes that come with perimenopause and menopause can be subtle at first and easy to dismiss or misinterpret. They don’t always arrive with the obvious physical signs we tend to associate with the menopause. For many women, the earliest symptoms are psychological or emotional.

You might notice she seems more anxious, tearful, or irritable than usual. Maybe her patience has shortened, or she reacts differently to things that never used to bother her. Perhaps her confidence has dropped, she starts doubting herself at work, withdrawing from projects, or saying she can’t cope. These are not signs of weakness or lack of resilience. They’re often the early effects of fluctuating hormones on brain chemistry, sleep, and mood regulation.

Sleep, in fact, is one of the biggest casualties. A woman who’s always been clear-headed and steady may suddenly be struggling with exhaustion from waking multiple times a night, drenched in sweat or unable to switch off her thoughts. Add that to hormonal shifts affecting energy and cognition, and it’s no wonder many describe feeling as if they’re losing themselves.

At work, this can show up as reduced concentration, brain fog, or even mistakes that shake her confidence. She might start avoiding meetings or volunteering for things she once thrived on. Too often, women are labelled as burnt out, difficult, or disengaged, when what’s really happening is a hormonal transition.

At home, you might notice she’s more withdrawn or less affectionate or that she seems to have lost interest in socialising. For some libido changes and body image worries deepen the sense of disconnection. For others the emotional intensity of this stage, combined with caring responsibilities, ageing parents, and demanding jobs leaves them feeling invisible and overwhelmed.

Physical symptoms

• Hot flushes and night sweats – sudden waves of heat, sweating or flushing that can interrupt sleep or confidence.
• Tiredness and poor sleep – difficulty falling asleep, waking often or feeling drained even after rest.
• Irregular or missing periods – cycles may become shorter, heavier, lighter or stop completely.
• Aches and pains – joints, muscles, or back can feel stiff or sore.
• Headaches or palpitations – feeling of the heart racing or noticing more frequent headaches or migraine attacks.
• Weight or body shape changes – especially more fat around the middle, even without eating more.
• Skin and hair changes – dryness, itching, or thinning hair.

Emotional symptoms

• Mood swings or anxiety – feeling tearful, irritable, or more easily upset.
• Low mood or loss of confidence – feeling flat, unmotivated, or ‘not herself.’
• Brain fog – forgetting words, losing focus, or struggling to concentrate.
• Sleep problems – poor quality sleep worsens memory and mood, creating a vicious cycle.

Bladder and vaginal/vulval symptoms

• Vaginal dryness or soreness – can cause discomfort, itching or pain during sex.
• Lower libido – less interest in sex
• Bladder changes – needing to pass urine more often, leakage or more frequent infections.

It is also worth reflecting that many women don’t really understand what is happening to them at this stage in their life and that the symptoms they are experiencing are in fact symptoms of the menopause.

What Not to Say (and What Helps Instead)

Let’s be honest, when someone you care about is struggling, the instinct may be to fix it. You want to offer solutions, reassurance, or logic. But menopause isn’t something to be solved in a single conversation, and the wrong words, however well meant, can make things worse. So, let’s start with what not to say.

Don’t say:

• “You’re overreacting.”
• “You just need to calm down / get more sleep / take a break.”
• “You’ve changed.”
• “Everyone gets moody sometimes.”
• “You should be used to this by now.”

These phrases shut the conversation down and send a clear message that her feelings are exaggerated, inconvenient, or irrational. In reality, hormonal changes can alter emotional regulation, cognitive processing, and even how the brain perceives stress.

So, what does help?

Listen
You don’t need to fix anything straight away. Just hearing someone say, “I’m really struggling right now,” deserves space. A simple, “Tell me more, what’s been hardest for you?” opens the door to a more honest discussion.

Validate
Try: “That sounds really tough. I can see why you’d feel that way.”
You don’t need to understand every symptom, empathy is helpful.

Ask what support looks like for her
This isn’t about guessing. Ask directly: “What helps you most when you feel like this?” or “Is there something practical I can do to make this easier?” For some, it’s time alone. For others, it’s company, help with life admin, or encouragement to speak to a GP or menopause specialist.

Be aware of the workplace impact
If she’s a colleague or member of your team, kindness goes a long way. Flexible working, quiet spaces, or simply not making assumptions about “performance” can make a huge difference. When women feel supported rather than judged, productivity and confidence often return quickly.

Menopause at work: guide for people managers

Learn about menopause yourself
If you’re in a relationship, leading a team, or raising daughters, this knowledge will serve you for life. Understanding what’s happening biologically changes the way you see it emotionally. It helps turn confusion or frustration into compassion and practical support. At Rowena Health we offer bespoke packages to help you educate your team. Please contact us for more information.

Changing the Conversation Around Menopause

Menopause shouldn’t be whispered about, dismissed, or joked away. It’s a natural biological transition, one that half the population will go through, yet it still carries an outdated stigma that leaves too many women feeling isolated, confused, or ashamed for struggling.

The more we talk about menopause openly in homes, in workplaces, and in leadership spaces the less power it has to undermine women’s confidence, careers, and relationships.

Next steps

Some simple things to consider:

• Don’t shy away from the conversation, but be sensitive and pick the right time
• Look for the right support together; what is going to work and how quickly can you see them
• Understand the treatment plan and be part of that, where appropriate
• Reflect on whether that is working together (sensitively)
• Be supportive
• And, sometimes you may have to simply stop, take a breath and know that it will get better, if you get the support and follow the treatment plan you need

What can help?

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)

• Replaces the oestrogen to relieve the symptoms of menopause
• Helps with hot flushes, sleep, mood, brain fog, joint pain, and vaginal symptoms.
• Available as patches, gels, sprays, tablets, or vaginal treatments.
• Safe and effective for most women, but is not right for everyone

Vaginal Oestrogen

• A local treatment for dryness, soreness, or bladder symptoms.
• Works directly where needed with minimal absorption into the bloodstream.
• Can be used alongside or without HRT.

Lifestyle Support

• Sleep: Keep a regular routine, reduce screen time, and limit caffeine or alcohol at night.
• Exercise: Aim for regular movement, even gentle walking or stretching helps mood, bones, and heart.
• Nutrition: Eat a balanced diet with plenty of protein, vegetables, calcium, and vitamin D.
• Weight management: Maintaining a healthy weight supports hormone balance and reduces long-term risks.
• Limit toxins: Reduce alcohol, smoking which can worsen symptoms.

Mind and Mood

• Talk about how she is feeling with a partner, friend, or therapist.
• Mindfulness, CBT, or relaxation techniques can help manage anxiety or irritability.

Intimacy

• Early perimenopause is a time of change in sexual wellbeing for women. The reasons for this are complex and a discussion with a health professional who is experienced in this area can be helpful. For some women addition of testosterone to HRT can be helpful.
• Books to read: Mind the Gap by Karen Gurney; Come as you are by Emily Nagroski; Better Sex through Mindfulness by Lori Brotto

Non-hormonal treatments

• Some women choose not to take HRT or cannot take HRT and often feel there is no other option for them. This is not the case and there are other effective prescribable non hormonal treatments to help relieve hot flushes, anxiety and low mood. These can be prescribed by her Dr.

Alternative and Complementary Therapies

• Some women find benefit from hypnotherapy, herbal medicine, acupuncture or yoga but discuss these with a doctor first to check for safety and interactions.

Medical Check-Ins

• Ask if she has check her blood pressure and cholesterol measured – menopause is a time of change in metabolic health which can increase risk of cardiovascular disease
• Is she supporting bone health with vitamin D, dietary calcium and daily weight bearing exercise – menopause leads to bone loss because oestrogen levels decline, increasing the risk of osteoporosis and fractures
• Check is she attending breast, cervical, and bowel screening when she is invited

Helpful resources

You may want to guide women in your life to my online menopause symptoms questionnaire, which will give you some immediate insights into the symptoms, causes and treatment options. You can also easily book a menopause consultation with Dr Carys Sonnenberg at Rowena Health.

• Menopause Research and Education Fund
• Women’s Health Concern fact sheets

Last updated November 2025 Dr Carys Sonnenberg